chez_jae | Entries tagged with content: that's not how it works

Digging Up Murder (A Garden Cove Library Cozy Mystery Book 1)

Digging Up Murder by Penny Brooke

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I used my ~~day~~ afternoon off wisely and finished a Halloween-themed ebook, Digging Up Murder by Penny Brooke. It's the first in the "Garden Cove Library" series of cozy mysteries. Narrative is first-person pov of the main character, Eliza "Elly" Hockette.

After her dastardly fiance cleans out her bank account and skives off, Elly returns home to Garden Cove, just in time to help her grandmother get the town's historic library ready for the annual Halloween festival. In between assisting at the library, Elly is hunting for a place to rent, reconnecting with friends (and some foes), and diving into the work that needs to be done in her grandmother's garden. When Elly unearths a human hand, the police arrest her grandmother on suspicion of murder. Elly refuses to sit idly by while her beloved grams sits in the local jail. With the help of old friends and some curious pets, she launches her own investigation. Elly knows she's closing in on the truth when her own safety is jeopardized. However, Hockette women are tough, and Elly isn't about to back down.

This was a pleasant read, but there wasn't much to set it apart from other cozy mysteries. I liked Elly, and other characters were portrayed well. I would have liked more back story, and the villain was rather easy to guess. What really got my hackles up was ( Spoiler )

Favorite line: Maybe coming back home wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe it was just what she needed.

An enjoyable story; however, its cookie cutter similarity to standard cozies means it doesn't earn more than an average score.

( Trope Test )

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: The New Scooby Doo Movies: The Haunted Showboat

Put Out to Pasture (Farm to Table Mysteries, #2)

Put Out to Pasture by Amanda Flower

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

After cleaning house today, I finished reading Put Out to Pasture by Amanda Flowers. It's the second book in the "Farm to Table" cozy mystery series, told in first-person pov by main character Shiloh Bellamy.

After leaving LA and returning home to Michigan to save the family farm, Shiloh is barely scraping by. She used up all of her savings just to get the farm out of hock, and her dream of growing organic food and opening a farm-to-table restaurant is still in the planning stages. For now, Shiloh is concentrating on needed repairs, convincing her curmudgeonly father to let her run the farm the way she wants, and dealing with a potential rival for her fledgling business. The Farm Daze festival that Shiloh holds on the farm is a huge help, until a woman is found murdered near the scarecrow and the evidence points to Shiloh's friend, Kristy. Determined to clear Kristy's name and salvage her farm's reputation, Shiloh butts into the investigation, much to the chagrin of the local chief of police. Shiloh isn't one to back down, however, not until she sees justice done.

I have not read the first book in the series, but I wasn't floundering through this one. Shiloh is an engaging character, and other characters were portrayed well, including various animals. The plot didn't exactly grip me, which meant it took forever for me to finish the book. Also, my logical brain kicked into gear...( Here be Bitching and Spoilers )

Another thing I didn't care for was just how big a bitch a particular character was to Shiloh. Her son, Quinn, seems like a potential romantic interest for Shi, and Quinn's daughter (Doreen's granddaughter) adores Shiloh. Doreen, however, is an absolute c*nt. Blah. Also, Shiloh's father is a cranky recluse, yet for no discernible reason he allowed two other characters (at separate times) into his house and yukked it up with them. It was jarringly out of character for him.

Favorite lines:
* There was something about evenings in October that felt different from an evening during any other month of the year. It was the mixture of magic and spook settling in with the evening fog and mist.
* It seemed that every bit of news in Cherry Glen went through Jessa's Place first, to the point that sometimes the people it was happening to found out about it at the diner.
* "Minnie wasn't my friend," I said. "She hated me." // "Did she ever rage-plant ivy in your yard?" // I shook my head. "No." // "Then she didn't hate you enough."

And, for good measure, here's the 'I had no idea I was holding my breath' line:
* All of the air whooshed out of my body. I didn't know I had been holding my breath."

I'm rather meh about this book. I liked the main character and many secondary ones. I enjoyed the farm setting (although the author needs to brush up on farm terminology), but the narrative was slow, clunky, and sometimes confusing. Not sure I'd read another in this series. Three stars.

Since this is the first I've read in this series, it gets put to my ( Trope Test )

Current Mood: blah

Occult and Battery (Bay Island Psychic Mysteries #2)

Occult and Battery by Lena Gregory

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Wednesday night I finished reading Occult and Battery by Lena Gregory. It's the second book in the "Bay Island Psychic" mystery series. Story is told in third person pov from the perspective of the main character, Cass Donovan. Cass is a former psychiatrist who uses her training to "read" people as a psychic.

Cass has barely gotten her psychic shop, Mystic Musings, off the ground when winter hits Bay Island. With tourists in short supply, she's hoping to draw in more customers and business by hosting a seance and group reading at an allegedly haunted local mansion. The new owners plan to turn the mansion into a bed and breakfast, and they are eager for the publicity the weekend will bring. Cass' excitement about the weekend fades when her ex-husband, Donald, shows up along with his new fiancee...who also happens to be Cass' former best friend. Nevertheless, her staunch friends, Stephanie and Bee, are there to keep her spirits up.

The seance is going well until a winter storm knocks the electricity out, and one of the owners of the mansion is found hanging in the cupola. While his death appears to be suicide, Cass believes he was murdered. When someone comes to Cass and asks her to contact the victim and later ends up dead as well, it seems that the killer thinks Cass may know more than she does. Now she needs to avoid a killer and solve the murders before anyone else ends up dead.

The story was interesting. I liked it better than the first one in the series. I especially like that Cass appears to possess some actual psychic abilities, although she is in denial. Bee is an absolute hoot, and I admire how Stephanie always has Cass' back. I would have enjoyed the story more, however, if my logic-brain hadn't kicked in.

( Spoilers )

Favorite line: "Nice to know you guys were going to leave me here alone."
Lame, but nothing else really jumped out at me.

Characters were well-developed, including Cass' odious exes, and the plot moved along at a good tempo. In spite of my grievances with the less-than-logical aspects, I'm giving this one a four.

Current Mood: okay

A Tisket, A Tasket, A Fancy Stolen Casket (A Callie Parrish Mystery #1)

A Tisket, A Tasket, A Fancy Stolen Casket by Fran Rizer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Wednesday night I completed the book A Tisket, a Tasket, a Fancy Stolen Casket, which is the first in the "Callie Parrish" mystery series by Fran Rizer. The main character is mortuary cosmetologist Calamine "Callie" Parrish.

Business has been slow at Middleton Mortuary, but when Callie finds a broken hypodermic needle in the neck of a drowning victim, her life suddenly becomes more exciting. Now the police are treating Bobby Saxon's death as a murder, two widows are vying for the insurance policy, a business rival of Bobby's thinks his death was staged and that he's still alive, and someone steals the casket without realizing that Bobby's body has been sent for an autopsy.

Callie's non-existent love life suddenly perks up, too, as she's now dating a doctor and still lusting after an old high school crush. However, someone thinks Callie knows too much, and she begins receiving threatening messages. If she can't figure out who killed Bobby, Callie may end up just as dead.

Overall, this was cute and fun. Callie is an engaging character, if not always the quickest on the uptake. I didn't care for either the doctor or Nick as a love interest, and I really didn't care for Callie's BFF, Jane. In addition, the author needs to research how life insurance and marriage licenses work. ( Spoilers )

These things are simple enough to research, if only authors would put in the effort. Egregious errors like that throw me out of the narrative.

Favorite lines:
♦ It is my opinion that testosterone dictates men's actions a whole lot more than estrogen does women's anyway.
♦ If cleanliness is next to godliness, I'm in a world of trouble. My biggest problem with cleaning is that I'd rather read mysteries.

This probably deserves a 3 1/2, but I'll bump it up to 4.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Blackhawks vs Lightning

Eggs Benedict Arnold (Cackleberry Club, #2)

Eggs Benedict Arnold by Laura Childs

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I actually managed to finish my "work" book at work today. Woo! It was Eggs Benedict Arnold, which is the second part of Laura Childs' "Cackleberry Club" mystery series. Story is told in third person pov, but it's primarily from the viewpoint of widowed Suzanne Dietz.

Suzanne and her two friends, Petra and Toni, have opened their own diner, called the Cackleberry Club, and business is booming. When Suzanne delivers a pie to local funeral director, Ozzie Driesden, she finds him dead on the embalming table. Before she can react, she is knocked out with chloroform. Sheriff Doogie now has a murder on his hands, but when his prime suspect also winds up dead, he's at a dead end. In the meantime, another of Suzanne's friends, Missy, begs her to look into the case, because Doogie is eyeballing her and her significant other. Suzanne reluctantly agrees, but her snooping may be her undoing.

I enjoyed this story, but...( Spoilers )

At least we got to see Suzanne at work and even socializing; the entirety of the story wasn't taken up with her investigation. Characters were portrayed well, and the narrative was light and fun, for the most part.

Favorite lines:
♦ He was getting older, his muzzle going white, but he hadn't lost his spunk for shagging rodents. I beg your pardon?
♦ Who were all these little women? What planet did they come from? Did they disembark from a space ship or the death star Anorexia?
♦ "Lady, you just found a ray of sunshine in the middle of a shit storm."

Once again, I'd dearly love to award 3 1/2 stars. I did enjoy the story, and I would likely read more in the series. However, it annoys me when authors don't do their research and put incorrect information in their books. For that reason, this one is getting downgraded to a three instead of upgraded to a four.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Blackhawks at Blue Jackets

Body Check by Deirdre Martin

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I brought my book from work home with me to finish this weekend. There wasn't much left to read, and I had suffered enough. The book was Body Check by Deirdre Martin--a contemporary romance and the first set in her "New York Blades" series.

Janna MacNeil is a publicist who's been hired by the new owners of the New York Blades to come in and help clean up the image of hockey's bad boys. Ty Gallagher is the captain of the team. He brought the Stanley Cup to New York last year, and he's determined to do so again this year. Hockey is his life, and he has no time for publicity stunts, photo opportunities, or charity work. Janna knows if she can get the team captain to fall into line, the rest of the players will follow suit. She and Ty inevitably butt heads, but even their professional animosity can't diminish their growing attraction to one another.

I don't read much contemporary romance any longer, but I kept this one because of the hockey angle. It was disappointing. While it's obvious Ms Martin knows the game of hockey, it's equally obvious she has no concept of the spirit of hockey. Hockey players, at any level, are famous for their generosity, kind hearts, and charitable work. None of them needs to be browbeaten into it. Furthermore, the team captain knows that public relations come with the honor of wearing a 'C' on his uniform. Any player who is unwilling to step into that role would decline the captaincy.

( More griping under the cut )

Okay, now that I got all that off my chest, what really soured me on the book was ( Spoiler alert and trigger warning )

And another thing, ( Spoiler )

Favorite line: "You'll be amazed at how quickly the universe will catch you if you're willing to fall."

Characters were fully realized, it was fun to follow the Blades through their season, and the plot progressed in an orderly fashion. Doesn't matter, hated it. I think I may have another book or two by this author, and right now, I'm not sure I'll bother reading them. Two stars.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: "Night Voyage" ~ Coyote Oldman

Probable Claws (Vanessa Abbot Mystery #2)

Probable Claws by Nancy C. Davis

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Slogged through the rest of Probable Claws last night. It's the second book in author Nancy C Davis' "Vanessa Abbot" mystery series, featuring crazy cat lady Vanessa.

After I read the first one, I was rather meh about it, and this one was no better. It sort of picks up where the first book left off, in that the murderer in that one was slated to go on trial soon, and someone had come to town to threaten the witnesses. Only, the bad guy was killed before he could make good on his threats. Of course, the police have to treat it as a murder investigation...aaaaanndd it went to hell from there.

So, our intrepid heroine is now sorta/kinda dating Detective Pete Wheeler (and believe me, he was referred to as Detective Pete Wheeler throughout the narrative, lest the reader forget either his name or his occupation), and Pete basically invites Vanessa to help him investigate. Say what now? Nope. No officer of the law is ever going to do such a thing. Vanessa does have an ace up her sleeve, however. Henry, one of her dozen (or so) cats, has his paw on the pulse of the national cat network, and he promises to get some information to Vanessa via that route.

Now, I've read paranormal mysteries with talking cats before, and I find them fun. However, most of the time, there's a witch involved, or the book is obviously combining fantasy with cozy mystery. In this series, however, the only odd ball thing is that Vanessa communicates with her cats. We never "hear" them speak; rather, the reader only gets Vanessa's side of the conversation, because, apparently, the cats communicate telepathically. Worse yet, Pete believes Vanessa when she tells him this. This woman puts the CRAZY in Crazy Cat Lady. I mean, I talk to my cats, too, but they don't answer me. Well, Jake does, but it's just in various meows and purrips and murps.

The story would not have been so bad, but it reads like it was written by a 12 year-old. The writing is utterly unsophisticated, there is no complex sentence structure, and the murder investigation is so unrealistic as to be almost laugh-worthy. The motive for the crime is okay, but the method is absurd. Finally, when Pete starts hinting at wanting more of a relationship with Vanessa, they actually discuss moving in together. Okay, okay, I'm with you. However, throughout the entirety of the book, Vanessa keeps Pete at arm's length, afraid he may try to kiss her?! Um, lady, if you move in together, there will be a lot more than kissing involved. Sheesh. Let's just say I'm relieved I snagged this book when it was free; I'd have hated to pay for this dreck.

Favorite lines:
♦ "I couldn't exactly tell him I'm waiting to hear from the national cat network to give me my next clue, could I?"
No, I don't suppose that would be wise, Pete.
♦ "I've given you cats the best years of my life. Would you really begrudge me a little pleasure just for myself?"
I hear ya, lady. Ha ha!

I am waffling between one star and two. Hm. SPaG was clean, so I'll give it a two.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: "Come on Eileen" ~ Dexys Midnight Runners

If the Haunting Fits, Wear It (Haunted Vintage Mystery #5)

If the Haunting Fits, Wear It by Rose Pressey

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Thursday night (my "night off" the computer!) I finished reading If the Haunting Fits, Wear It by Rose Pressey. It's part of her "Haunted Vintage" series, featuring vintage clothing fashionista Cookie Chanel.

Cookie is excited that she's been asked to help outfit a ritzy party for the Kentucky Derby. When she goes to check out some vintage hats in the attic of an old house, she encounters Maureen, the ghost of the woman who owned the house and the hats. Once Maureen realizes Cookie can see her, she wants Cookie to solve her murder. Unfortunately for Maureen, Cookie has an engagement in Kentucky, but Maureen accompanies her, along with Charlotte, the ghost who's attached herself to Cookie.

While attending a party, Cookie discovers the dead body of one of the Derby jockeys. He's been murdered, and now his ghost is insisting that Cookie solve his murder. She's not alone, however. Her sorta-kinda boyfriend, Detective Dylan Valentine shows up in Kentucky, as does her wannabe boyfriend, attorney Ken Harrison. Now Cookie is juggling three ghosts, two men, and a Derby. As her investigation leads her closer to the truth, her life is in danger. Can Cookie solve Ramon's murder, or will her ghost join the others?

I am about to give up on this series. The writing is juvenile, and the narrative is terribly unsophisticated. There is no cohesiveness to the plot; Cookie just careens from one situation to another in a senseless fashion. No pun intended. There was no reason for either Dylan or Ken to have followed her to Kentucky. Somewhere along the way, it was revealed that her BFF Heather was in danger from looking into Maureen's death. What? When did that become a thing? I had surmised that we would solve Ramon's death in this book, then investigate Maureen's in the next. Once again, the ghosts are an obnoxious pain, always badgering Cookie to sneak into this office, try to eavesdrop on that conversation, break into this truck, etc. WHY DON'T THE GHOSTS DO THAT?! They can walk through walls, they can listen in on conversations, they can even drop in at the police station and glean information. Apparently, however, no one is smart enough to think of that, from Cookie to the ghosts themselves TO THE AUTHOR. Honest to pete.

( More annoyances - spoiler alert )

Favorite lines;
♦ I was in hat heaven.
♦ "Just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean I'm not afraid of ghosts."
♦ "She is three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket."

Least favorite line: I'd decided on a red dress with a white floral pattern. Actually, it matched the red roses of the Derby. My strapless Givenchy dress was white brocade silk with golden floral embroidery.
Yes, that's right. In the space of two sentences, the author forgot what her character was wearing.

This story was a scattered, flighty, hot mess from start to finish. One star, begrudgingly given:

*

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: "Gangnam Style" ~ Psy

Last night, I read the ebook Murder at the Circus, which is the second story in author Nancy McGovern's series about witch-sleuth Bluebell Knopps.

If possible, this one was even more inane than the first one. For one thing, the action jumps ahead a few years, rather than a few months. Bluebell is now comfortable being a witch, but she's still in training. One would think that after training for several years, she'd be competent at casting spells, but such is not the case.

Bluebell and her BFF Nolan go to the circus to meet up with a girl that Nolan is sweet on, and the girl's brother. Bluebell isn't looking forward to what is shaping up to be a blind, double-date, but she goes along for Nolan's sake. While at the circus, a performer runs into the Big Top, screaming that the circus owner has been murdered. It takes the police forever to arrive, giving Bluebell ample time to launch an investigation of her own. Because, you know, the police are always slow to respond to the scenes of a murder. Even after the police show up, no one discourages Bluebell, letting her take charge of finding a runaway suspect, and she is even allowed to bait the real murderer, because the police encourage civilians to help out like that all the time.

Favorite line: "Criminals never get away with their crimes for too long. One way or another, life will punish them."

Two stars, one for a nice try, and the other for a cute kitten.

**

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: "Without You" ~ David Guetta

Let's see...it was Thursday night when I finished reading A Biscuit, A Casket, which is the second book in Liz Mugavero's "Pawsitively Organic" mystery series.

Kristan "Stan" is settling into small-town life in Frog Ledge. Her new business of making organic treats and food for pets is starting to take off, and Stan is asked to cater a doggie party at a local dairy farm. The farm is all decked out for Halloween, including a corn maze. When Hal Hoffman, the owner of the farm, is found murdered in his own corn maze, Hal's wife, Emmalee, asks Stan to help her organize the farm's finances, and Stan is unwittingly drawn into the investigation by her proximity to the people involved with the farm, including family, friends, neighbors, hired help, and other dairy farmers whose farms were part of a co-op with Hal's farm.

To make matters worse, Stan's mother shows up for an unexpected visit, putting Stan further on edge. One of Stan's friends is behaving in a bizarre manner, one of the co-op wives is sticking her nose where it isn't wanted, Stan is trying to decide where she stands with hunky bartender Jake, and Jake's police officer sister doesn't seem to appreciate it when Stan tries to give her inside info from her stint working at the farm.

Lots going on, but all of it melded together. A couple points didn't sit well with me. One was the constant knocking of the dairy industry. While most of it came from Stan's friend, Nikki, you KNOW it's actually coming from the author. Another thing that bothered me is when Stan got a tour of the farm from its manager, he showed her the dry cows and said they'd be dry for 150 days. WTF?! I grew up on a dairy farm. You don't have cows out of production for five months! Holy cow pies, you'd never make any money! Nice try, Liz, but next time, ask. Cows are dry for six to eight weeks, tops.

Favorite line: "Plenty of people deserve to have chairs thrown at them."

I'd give it 3 1/2 if I could, but I guess I'll go with three.

***

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: "Don't Let Me Down" ~ Chainsmokers