Book 45, 2018

[chez_jae]

If the Haunting Fits, Wear It by Rose Pressey

My rating: 1 of 5 stars



Thursday night (my "night off" the computer!) I finished reading If the Haunting Fits, Wear It by Rose Pressey. It's part of her "Haunted Vintage" series, featuring vintage clothing fashionista Cookie Chanel.

Cookie is excited that she's been asked to help outfit a ritzy party for the Kentucky Derby. When she goes to check out some vintage hats in the attic of an old house, she encounters Maureen, the ghost of the woman who owned the house and the hats. Once Maureen realizes Cookie can see her, she wants Cookie to solve her murder. Unfortunately for Maureen, Cookie has an engagement in Kentucky, but Maureen accompanies her, along with Charlotte, the ghost who's attached herself to Cookie.

While attending a party, Cookie discovers the dead body of one of the Derby jockeys. He's been murdered, and now his ghost is insisting that Cookie solve his murder. She's not alone, however. Her sorta-kinda boyfriend, Detective Dylan Valentine shows up in Kentucky, as does her wannabe boyfriend, attorney Ken Harrison. Now Cookie is juggling three ghosts, two men, and a Derby. As her investigation leads her closer to the truth, her life is in danger. Can Cookie solve Ramon's murder, or will her ghost join the others?

I am about to give up on this series. The writing is juvenile, and the narrative is terribly unsophisticated. There is no cohesiveness to the plot; Cookie just careens from one situation to another in a senseless fashion. No pun intended. There was no reason for either Dylan or Ken to have followed her to Kentucky. Somewhere along the way, it was revealed that her BFF Heather was in danger from looking into Maureen's death. What? When did that become a thing? I had surmised that we would solve Ramon's death in this book, then investigate Maureen's in the next. Once again, the ghosts are an obnoxious pain, always badgering Cookie to sneak into this office, try to eavesdrop on that conversation, break into this truck, etc. WHY DON'T THE GHOSTS DO THAT?! They can walk through walls, they can listen in on conversations, they can even drop in at the police station and glean information. Apparently, however, no one is smart enough to think of that, from Cookie to the ghosts themselves TO THE AUTHOR. Honest to pete.


♦ The high-society woman who hired Cookie is not going to invite her to several, celebrity-laden parties. Sheesh.
♦ Nor is Danielle going to muck out a horse stall because "the groom quit".
♦ Mandy, the horse trainer, is not going to be skulking around Churchill Downs when the Derby is imminent. SHE'S GOING TO BE WITH HER HORSE!
♦ "The horse won!" Really? Danielle's horse? Because nothing in that sentence indicated anything except that a horse won the Derby.
♦ When did Wind Song, the tarot reading cat, become Cookie's Grandma Pearl?! I don't recall reading that in an earlier book, but I may have simply forgotten. Even so, it's a bit of a dumb plot device, in my opinion.

Favorite lines;
♦ I was in hat heaven.
♦ "Just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean I'm not afraid of ghosts."
♦ "She is three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket."

Least favorite line: I'd decided on a red dress with a white floral pattern. Actually, it matched the red roses of the Derby. My strapless Givenchy dress was white brocade silk with golden floral embroidery.
Yes, that's right. In the space of two sentences, the author forgot what her character was wearing.

This story was a scattered, flighty, hot mess from start to finish. One star, begrudgingly given:

*