chez_jae

A Holly, Jolly Murder by Joan Hess

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I had, like, half a chapter left in my work book so I brought it home to finish. It was A Holly, Jolly Murder by Joan Hess, and it's part of her "Claire Malloy" series featuring Claire, a divorced mother of a teen daughter and a bookseller.

Claire is looking forward to the holidays, if only in anticipation of selling more books at her small book store near the campus of Farberville's college. With her boyfriend, Lieutenant Peter Rosen, out of town, however, Claire is looking at a blue Christmas. When Peter accuses her of being predictable, Claire decides to do something spontaneous. What could be more spontaneous than accepting the invitation of a Druid to attend the Winter Solstice ceremony in a sacred grove? It's not what Claire expected at all, and no one else seems to have expected their leader to be found shot dead in his home. Claire is content to let the police handle things, but various members of the grove continue to call her for one reason or another, drawing Claire further and further into the murder investigation. In the meantime, her teenage daughter, Caron, is embroiled in her own drama involving a stint as a reindeer and a lawsuit, and Claire begins to suspect that Peter is seeing more of his ex-wife than she is comfortable with. If she can make it through the holidays alive, she'll count that as a win.

The story was entertaining for the most part. I enjoyed Claire's witty observations and wry comments, and Caron was a hoot. She could have her own series. What didn't impress me was how easily Claire allowed this group of strangers to drag her deeper and deeper into their drama. At what point does she simply refuse to participate in the reindeer games? Good grief. Characterizations were done well, but the resolution was convoluted enough that I can't fathom how Claire figured things out.

Favorite lines:
♦ "We can still run twenty to twenty-five kids through the chute every hour. Maybe more, if she'd let us use cattle prods."
♦ "No one ever forgets where the hatchet is buried."
♦ "Under all that fur and felt and excessive facial hair may well be a muscular bimboy who'll fill my stocking on Christmas Eve."
♦ A major distraction was needed. In that I had no background in economics, balancing the federal budget was out of the question.
♦ "You can stand under the mistletoe and kiss your ass goodbye."

Waffling on a score here. It was at times entertaining, yet at others, vastly annoying. Eh, I'll embrace the Christmas spirit and give this a four.

Nightmares Can Be Murder by Mary Kennedy

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I brought my work book home with me last night and finished it today. It was Nightmares Can Be Murder by Mary Kennedy, and it's the first in her "Dream Club" mystery series. The main character is Taylor Blake, a type-A business consultant who has come to Savannah, GA to help her sister Ali with her floundering candy shop.

Ali's old-fashioned candy shop is barely afloat, but Taylor has some innovative ideas to draw in more business. Ali is also interested in dream interpretation, and she is involved in a Dream Club that meets once a week to discuss and interpret their dreams. Taylor reluctantly gets involved, although she claims to never dream. When a local dance instructor dies and the crime scene is eerily reminiscent of one of the dreams a club member had, Taylor can't help but be intrigued. Intrigue turns to worry, however, when Taylor learns that Ali was once involved with Chico and that she'd gone to see him the night he was murdered. With Ali now a suspect, the members of the Dream Club put their heads together to learn all they can about Chico and who may have really wanted him dead.

I enjoyed the unique premise of the story. There were lots of nifty twists and turns that had me suspecting several people before the final reveal. Characters were fleshed out, and the plot moved along at a fast pace. I do wish we'd seen more of Taylor living her life, but most of the narrative was consumed with her investigation.

Favorite lines:
♦ My sister seems to have inherited a Martha Stewart gene, and sadly, I didn't. Story of my life.
♦ It was obvious he wouldn't take a hint; only a verbal two-by-four would put a dent in his gigantic ego.
♦ "Isn't she just the sweetest thing?" she purred. "I simply love her to death." I'd been in Savannah long enough to know that "loving someone to death" is code for "I wish she'd take a bath with a toaster."

And, here are the annoying 'didn't know I was holding my breath' lines. Yes, I said lines. Cue eyeroll:

♦ I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath and blew out a little puff of air.
♦ I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, and the words came out in a rush.
♦ I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath, and I let it out in a little sigh.

Three in one book?! That's got to be a record!

Interesting story, with interesting characters. Four stars.

First in a series gets put to my ( Trope Test )

Pane of Death by Sarah Atwell

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



At work today I finished reading Pane of Death, which is the second book in author Sarah Atwell's "Glassblowing" mystery series. The narrative is in first-person pov of the main character, Emmeline "Em" Dowell.

Em is intrigued and excited when she's asked to help wealthy Peter Ferguson create the displays in his new home in Tucson where he wants to exhibit his prized collection of valuable stained glass panels. Em's delight turns to horror when she arrives at Peter's house one day to find him dead and the panels missing. Things go from bad to worse when a rival accuses her of murdering Peter. Now Em's boyfriend, Chief of Police Matt Lundgren, must take a step back from their relationship while he investigates the murder. Despite being warned to stay out of it, Em knows her expertise with glass will be invaluable to the investigation. When she begins asking the wrong questions, however, Em learns just how far a killer will go to cover his tracks.

I enjoyed this story. The pacing was good, and I never felt like I was missing out for not having read the first book in the series. Em is shown at work and socializing, rather than the entire narrative being of the investigation. I must say, however, that I wasn't all that enamored of Em as a character. She really did need to keep her nose out of it, and she got all sulky and childish when she felt that Matt was "keeping her in the dark". The villain was rather easy to guess, but it was interesting to see how it all played out.

Favorite lines:
♦ She stared into space, as if thinking. It must have been painful, based on her expression.
♦ I got the impression she wished I was about fifty miles off the New Jersey coast, and a hundred feet down.
♦ Let me make it perfectly clear: I am not a cook. I can keep myself alive, and I send up thankful prayers almost every day for the marvels of modern frozen food.

Fun story, I only wish the heroine had been more likable. Four stars.

My first read in this series means it gets put to my ( Trope Test )

Waiting for the Wolf Moon by Evelyn Vaughn

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



Finished my work book during my lunch hour today. It was Waiting for the Wolf Moon by Evelyn Vaughn. The book is part of the Silhouette "Dreamscapes" line of paranormal romances. The main character is witch Sylvie Peabody.

When grisly murders begin happening during the full moon in the small town of Stagwater, LA, Sylvie and her friends are left wondering if the attacks are from a werewolf. The police have been chalking them up to wild dog attacks, but the witches know better. Sylvie can't help but notice that the attacks began after mysterious Rand Garner arrived in town. He purchased a crumbling old estate and is intent on turning it into a haunted house. Sylvie can't help but be drawn to Rand, and the attraction seems to be mutual. Although her friends caution her to stay away, Sylvie finds herself falling for the enigmatic Rand, even as she fears he may be the werewolf.

Ugh. Sylvie is dumber than a box of rocks, and as for Rand, he came across as a cocky, immature frat boy. Although the story was in third-person pov, from Sylvie's perspective, a few times, toward the end of the book, the narrative was in Rand's pov with no discernible break to warn the reader. It was jarring and distracting. Sylvie takes the cake in idiocy for letting her vagina control her actions. She literally fled from Rand in sheer terror at one point, but when he caught up to her (because the best way to convince someone not to be afraid of you is to chase after them), he kissed her, then took her to bed, after which Sylvie is convinced that he's not the werewolf at all. Because sex solves everything. I need some brain bleach. The story was exciting, if not for the right reasons, and there was some humor laced throughout, but I spent most of my time reading it wanting to smack Sylvie upside the head. And kick Rand in the balls just to wipe the smug smirk off his face. The ending was confusing. ( Spoilers )

Favorite lines:
♦ One minute she didn't even have a relationship, the next minute it was doomed.
♦ "Or, as my mother used to say, um...Damn, I knew I should have listened to her."
♦ "Do you know what lousy gas mileage hearses get? It's no wonder that so few corpses take road trips."
♦ She couldn't run from what frightened her without leaving what fascinated her. Stupid slut
♦ "I sense tar and feathers in the future, and that's just not my look."
♦ "It slices, it dices, it makes honest-to-gosh Julienne fries. When you're lucky enough to have a hunk of Julienne."
♦ "For heaven's sake, you got laid, not coronated!"

And, here's one for my new hobby of cataloging the overdone line about releasing a breath that the person didn't know s/he was holding:

She released a breath, only then realizing that she'd been holding it.

So...yeah. The plot was interesting, but the characters were aggravating, and things were left unexplained at the end. I'm giving this a generous two stars.

This Time Forever by Margaret Chittenden

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Finished reading the book I'd taken to work on my lunch hour today. It was This Time Forever by Margaret Chittenden, and it's part of the Silhouette Dreamscapes line. Main characters are Liz Brooks and Matt Lockwood.

Travel rep Liz is afraid she's losing her mind. She keeps falling into a fugue state that seems incredibly real to her. Desperate for answers she agrees to regression hypnosis. Dr Matt Lockwood is convinced that Liz is recalling a past life, but the first time he hypnotizes her, he is stunned. Liz begins recounting the hard life of a woman in 1880's Scotland--Jeannie Findlay. Matt is astonished, because when a colleague helped him with regression hypnosis, he recalled his life as Robert McAndrew, the man who fell in love with Jeannie. Matt is overjoyed to find his lost love again, but he is reluctant to reveal anything to Liz; he wants her to figure out on her own that he was once her beloved Robbie. Liz isn't sure she believes in reincarnation, and as she delves further into Jeannie's life, she finds herself unable to separate her growing feelings for Matt from Jeannie's attraction to Robert. Matt is left waiting for Liz to realize they were meant to find one another in this life...and hoping she will agree they're destined to be together forever.

The story was interesting, yet I couldn't help but feel that more of the narrative was devoted to Jeannie and Robert's romance than Liz and Matt's. It was off-putting. Liz and Matt fell in love rather quickly, although I suppose that can be attributed to the fact that they'd loved one another before. Since I was reading two stories, the entire thing seemed disjointed. I did like the easy banter between Liz and Matt.

Favorite lines:
♦ If you were going to be weird, it was nice to know you weren't abnormally weird.
♦ "You mark my words, Jeannie Findlay. Robert McAndrew wants to toss you in the feathers."
♦ "You're a good passenger. You didn't scream once coming down the mountain." // "Yes, I did. I screamed silently. Wore out the passenger brake halfway down, too, then I closed my eyes." // "Me, too."

A little disappointed in this one. Giving it an average score of three.

Revelation by Patrice Michelle

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



On my lunch break Friday, I finished reading Scions: Revelation by Patrice Michelle. It's the third part of the "Scions" trilogy, with main characters Caine, a werewolf, and Emma, a werepanther.

Afraid he's losing his ability to control his shifts, Caine has left his pack to live among humans. He's drifting and alone with no real purpose until he catches the scent of a remarkable young woman in a club. Emma has no idea she's not human, not until someone kidnaps her aunt and she's forced to make some difficult choices in a bid to save her. Caine and Emma should be mortal enemies, but they are drawn to one another. Will their connection be the final piece of the puzzling prophecy that promises salvation to all nonhumans?

This may be the third book of the series, but it's the first I read. The author did not do a good job of providing back story, which left me floundering as I tried to figure out who was who, the good guys, the bad guys, and what the hell was going on. There were different names for the nonhumans: werewolves were the Lupreda, vampires the Sanguinis, and werepanthers the Velius. It seems the vampires created the werewolves to prey on, and the werewolves in turn created the panthers to prey on. How nice. As for the two main characters, he's a brooding jerk and she's a naive innocent. Yawn. I don't know why it was classified as a romance. Instead, it was a series of action scenes, battles, and betrayals while the main characters fought their lust-fueled attraction to one another. And really, that's all it was. It wasn't love; it was lust. That can be exciting, but don't slap a bow on it and call it love. And, why are all these short, paranormal romances so misogynistic? I hate that. I started keeping notes of my stream-of-consciousness WTF:
- She's 21?!
- Stop grabbing her when she tries to walk away from you
- He has to carry her through the snow and then give her a spank when she objects?!
- Now they have to share a bed. Really?
- Physical abuse when she won't (can't) answer his questions
- Aaaaand now he's blaming her for his lack of self-control. Fabulous
- How many times can this stupid slut get kidnapped?!
- Here comes the attempted sexual assault by the bad guy, which is apparently a Silhouette Nocturne staple. Good grief
- Even as a bad-ass panther, she can't win?
- Aaaaand now we're physically restraining her. So romantic
- She literally just asked him to 'let me go', and he literally outright refused
- Oh, and now he's all about seducing her but without any penetrative sex because he's so effing noble.
- Now our virgin is giving head like a pro. Head? More like *head desk*
- Just wrapping a hand loosely around her nape can 'lock her in place'? Gag me

As if all that crap wasn't bad enough, Emma was a Mary Sue. Her boss, Jared, had the hots for her, Caine obviously did, and the bad guy, Malac, wanted her, too.

Favorite line: "I'll grant your every wish if I can, but your safety comes above my own."

The story was awful. It was more about lust and power than it was about love and romance. Back story wouldn't have made it any more palatable, but at least it might have made more sense. Hated it. It's getting two stars, as the writing was good, even though the story was atrocious.

Still Knife Painting by Cheryl Hollon

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



On Thursday's lunch break, I finished reading Still Knife Painting by Cheryl Hollon. It's the first in her "Paint & Shine" cozy mystery series. Narrative is in third person pov, and the main character is Miranda Trent.

When Miranda inherits a farm in KY from her uncle Gene, she leaves her life as a struggling artist in NYC to move there. The will stipulates that Miranda must get a distillery up and running if she's to keep the farm. In the meantime, she has the more immediate necessity of paying taxes just to keep a roof over her head. Miranda improvises by coming up with a "cultural" event. She will take small groups out on a nature hike, help them paint a scene from Lover's Leap, then take them to her farmhouse for a home cooked meal, followed by a moonshine tasting. Miranda can't do this without some assistance. She has Doris Ann, from the local hotel, to put the word out to guests, a local park ranger to come speak to her guests while they're painting, two church ladies to do the cooking, and a neighbor to bring some of his moonshine. Things are off to a good start, until one of the cooks is murdered in Miranda's kitchen. Now Miranda is on a short list of suspects, because she and Mrs Childers had some angry words about serving moonshine. With her business dwindling, Miranda knows she needs to do some investigating of her own to clear her name and save her business.

Ho hum. I didn't care for this story; it wasn't engaging and didn't grab my attention. There was a time-skip early that annoyed me, as well as having a few chapters follow a different character for no discernible reason. Since this wasn't written in the 1920's, I was taken aback that more than one character seemed to clutch her pearls at the idea of Miranda incorporating moonshine in her cultural events. Homophobia reared its ugly head, too. Miranda's puppy, Sandy, seemed like more of a hindrance than anything, although he did play a minor role towards the end. I was gobsmacked when one of the county cops drove up to Miranda's and when she didn't respond to his knock, he began searching for a hidden key. Did he plan to let himself into her home? Egad. Frankly, I never took a shine, pardon the pun, to Miranda. I can't say as that I really liked her. At all. Plus, did we ever find out who broke in and tried to dognap Sandy? The best part of this book was when I finished it.

Favorite lines:
♦ "Welcome to the confusion."
♦ "We all have secrets. Most of us don't have the kind that could lead to violence."
♦ "This is not a Hallmark cozy mystery television series where everything is cupcakes and kittens."

In short, did not like, won't look for any more in the series. Two stars

Since it's the first in a series, I'm putting it to my trope test even though it won't affect the score:

( Trope Test )

Expiration Date by Devon Delaney

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Brought my work book home yesterday and finished it last night. It was Expiration Date by Devon Delaney, and it is the first part of the "Cook-Off" cozy mystery series. The main character is Sherry Frazzelle.

With her amicable divorce pending, Sherry spends her time helping her father at his shop and participating in cooking competitions. Sherry is elated when one such competition takes place in her hometown and features a $10,000 prize. Things are going well during the competition until one of the chefs face-plants at the table and it's determined the last thing he ate was Sherry's dish. When the police continue to question her, Sherry is determined to find out who really did the chef in. The more she digs, however, the more she begins to wonder if Chef Birns was the actual target...and the more danger she puts herself into.

Forgive me, but the first word that comes to mind when I think of this book is dumb. The premise wasn't clever, the narrative was tedious, and I didn't even like the main character. I never connected with her at all. I found it absurd that the chef's manner of death was determined within 24 hours. Really? Because autopsies and toxicology reports can take weeks to produce results. Also, how did the criminal know that Sherry was looking into things just one day later? The ending of the book was worthy of an episode of Scooby Doo, from the creepy old house to the confession. What I found most annoying, however, was the fact that Sherry was continuously correcting people when they mispronounced her last name. Not that she did so, but that the author saw fit to give her character such an awkward name, one that necessitated this happening again and again. Boring!

Favorite lines:
♦ "I'd dip my grandmother in egg wash and roll her in panko bread crumbs for a chance at a ten-thousand-dollar grand prize."
♦ "Pickles may just be the ticket to fulfillment you've been searching for."

I didn't care for this story, and I doubt I'll read any more in the series. I was going to give it two stars, but during the epilogue, when one of the detectives asked Sherry to dinner, she turned him down because of how he'd doubted her integrity during the investigation. Preach, sister! That small scene earns this an extra point: 3 stars

Delicious and Suspicious by Riley Adams

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



On my lunch break today, I finished the book Delicious and Suspicious, which is the first part of the "Memphis BBQ" cozy mystery series by Riley Adams. Story is in third person pov, but it mainly follows Lulu, the owner of Aunt Pat's BBQ place in Memphis, TN.

When a representative from the Cooking Channel comes to Memphis in search of the best place to get BBQ, everyone at Aunt Pat's is excited. They are known for their ribs, red beans and rice, and spicy cornbread. Unfortunately, Rebecca Adrian turns out to be a shrew. When she dies shortly after eating at Aunt Pat's, suspicion quickly falls on the food. Desperate to prove that her food didn't kill Rebecca, Lulu tries to unravel Rebecca's movements in Memphis to learn who may have had a reason to do her in. What she learns is that most everyone who came into contact with Rebecca was angered by her. Now it's up to Lulu to find out not just who had motive, but opportunity.

There were aspects of this story I liked, and others I didn't like. It was funny; I got a chuckle out of some of the downhome colloquialisms. I didn't care for how many points of view we ended up following. Lulu's regulars were a colorful and entertaining bunch, and there were some interesting plot twists thrown into the mix.

Favorite lines:
♦ She looked for all the world like the Scarecrow asking the Wizard of Oz for a brain.
♦ The day had clearly been destined for calamity in every way.
♦ "I thought you might want to join me in grasping at straws."
♦ "I don't know where she's been, but she looks like the cat dragged her in after spending the night carousing."
♦ "Did you have a life-threatening encounter with the murderer?"
♦ "Well, if you're going to be a hussy it's best not to be a meek one."
♦ "Pickle is in town?"

This was one of those odd books that I didn't enjoy so much as I was invested in it. Would I read another in the series? Sure, if I can snap it up at a used bookstore for a little bit o' nothing. Eh, I'll give it four stars.

Bless Her Dead Little Heart by Miranda James

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Since I just had two short chapters left in my work book, I brought it home and finished it this evening. The book was Bless Her Dead Little Heart by Miranda James. It's the first in the "Southern Ladies" mystery series, which is a spin-off of the author's "Cat in the Stacks" series. These books feature An'gel and Dickce Ducote, a pair of wealthy spinsters with keen minds and Southern manners.

Miss An'gel and Miss Dickce are pet-sitting for Diesel, their friend Charlie Harris' large Maine Coon cat, when a former sorority sister comes calling, seeking sympathy and sanctuary. Rosabelle claims someone is trying to murder her, and she is afraid it's one of her own family. Not long after Rosabelle arrives, her selfish adult children show up. An'gel and Dickce soon have a house filled with uninvited and unwanted guests, but that's not the worst of their troubles. When one of Rosabelle's family members slips on the marble stairs and falls to her death, Rosabelle is convinced she was the intended target. After Deputy Kanesha Berry declares the death a homicide, An'gel and Dickce realize they've opened their home to a murderer. Unwilling to sit idly by, they put their heads together and begin sifting through clues in an effort to save Rosabelle and their own sanity.

The story was interesting and mostly enjoyable, but I simply couldn't wrap my head around this family of maniacal hyenas. Nor could I understand why Ang'el and Dickce offered to let any of them stay, including Rosabelle, whom they knew was an attention-seeking drama queen. So Rosabelle, fearing for her life, skedaddles out of her home in California to seek refuge with the Ducote sisters in Mississippi, and not one, not two, but all three of her adult children show up the next day?! Bringing their own adult children?! It didn't help that none of them particularly liked one another, nor did any of them seem to harbor any affection for Rosabelle. And this is what you invited into your home. But wait, it gets better. Rosabelle had told An'gel and Dickce she was widowed (for the third time), but her estranged husband showed up out of the blue, as well, followed by...his male lover! Woo! Now we're cooking with gas! This was like a Ray Cooney play. Good grief.

As for unraveling the mystery, the sisters didn't do any overt investigating. They did do some eavesdropping, and they dutifully reported what they overheard to Deputy Berry. Otherwise, I wouldn't really consider them to have done any sleuthing. The ending was rather odd and anticlimactic, and the crime(s) committed didn't seem to have made much sense. Eh.

Favorite line: "I can't believe we're accepting a character reference from a cat."

I think I would have liked this story more had I not had a face full of 'WTF?' for most of it. Giving it an average score.