Book 26, 2015
Apr. 27th, 2015 09:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chez_jaeLast Wednesday, I brought home my book from work, because I only had to read a page and a half to finish it. The book was Portrait of a Man by Tracy Forbes. Alternate title could have been: The Stupid, It Burns. I had the misfortune of reading a book that got progressively more absurd as it went on.
First of all, I freely admit that I did not read the first book in this series. The fact that it is a series makes me a sad panda. That being said, because I did not read the prequel, I presume I missed out on Very Important Information. At least, I hope that's the case. No book should be so overwhelmingly stupid on its own.
Okay, here's the premise: In the future, women are scarcer than three-dollar bills, because a plague released in our present day (I'm guessing?) has made it impossible for women to bear female children. But, the resourceful men of the future have discovered a means of going back in time to retrieve brides. Now, I'm mostly on board with this. I enjoy time-travel romances, but the book's premise is the only thing it had going for it. Our main characters were Rourke, from the Blackfell of the future, and Alexis, from present-day Philadelphia. Only the wealthiest men can afford to retrieve brides, but Rourke is fighting the system. Families for All! Alexis is a paranormal investigator, which means she's a bit more open-minded than your average present-day bear. Rourke travels back in time to meet up with Alexis, in hopes that she can shed some light on her sister's research (this is what I missed from the first book) in order to prevent the plague from happening in the first place. And, it fell to hell from the get-go.
How did I loathe this book? Let me count the ways:
1. I have no idea how far in the future Blackfell is, because at various times, Rourke said either "eons" or "hundreds of years". I'm no mathematician, but even I know there's a vast difference between eons and centuries.
2. Not only are there no women in the future, but there is apparently no technology, either. WTF?! The women die out, and the men regress to horse-and-buggy days?! Supposing that all of earth's fossil fuels were used up, I am reasonably certain that somebody, somewhere, could have figured out a way to...oh, I don't know...harness solar, wind, hydro or nuclear energy to power things, but...no.
3. Rourke claims that the brides who are retrieved from the past are done so with their fully informed consent. I can only speak for myself here, but if some dweeb approached me, claimed to be from the future, and asked if I wouldn't enjoy traveling forward in time, where there is no technology and where I would be nothing but a glorified broodmare, I'm thinking my answer would be, "Get the fuck away from me, you creepy weirdo."
4. One would think that if women were exceedingly rare, that they would be treated like precious, priceless jewels to be coddled and cosseted, fussed over and revered. NO! The impression I got from reading was that many of these brides are beaten, abused, then cast aside when no longer able to bear sons (because, remember, they can't have daughters...even when retrieved from the past BEFORE THE PLAGUE). Some are even murdered. Hey, where do I sign up for this experience?!
5. One would also think homosexuality would be rampant in the women-less future, but the author shied away from even breathing a muted whisper about it. I call bullshit!
6. But wait, if the mens are in need of some lovin', they can wait a year to visit a "comfort woman". You know, one of those poor, cast-aside women, whose "husband" paid an astronomical sum of money for her. Because, yanno, she wouldn't still be pampered and revered, even in her dotage. Maybe it's just me, but I would think a woman, any woman, would be like the ultimate status-symbol in Blackfell. *shrugs*
7. Here's where my overthinking things comes into play: Not only am I not a mathematician, I'm not a biologist, either. But, I do know that the gender of a baby is determined by the father, not the mother. So...a plague that renders women unable to bear female children would seem to me to be a plague that affects men, not women, right? As in, the plague has rendered MEN unable to sire daughters. It's not that women's bodies are rejecting female fetuses; they're not getting pregnant with female babies. Honestly, Ms Forbes! I learned this shit in Biology 101.
8. Speaking of the plague, how is it that the plague managed to affect EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD?! It's not as if we're all infected with HIV, nor did we all contract Ebola. I call bullshit on that, too.
9. Still on the overthinking things...if Rourke goes back in time and prevents the plague from ever happening, HE WILL NEVER BE BORN. No, don't argue with me about this. Each person is the product of one particular egg cell and one particular sperm cell. If the plague never happens, and people go on with their lives, meeting and mating, etc, there is no way that, eons or centuries later, Rourke will be born. Ain't happenin'.
10. Late in the book, Rourke and Alexis manage a meeting with the hapless scientist who is destined to release the plague (and later commit suicide, but I digress). They muck things up, and apparently release a different version of the same plague, because the next person to visit from the future is a woman. Ah, yes. Now, in the future, the men are scarcer than three-dollar bills, and women rule, but yet many of the characters are still the same, just...they're women. Please see Point 9.
Those are the main things that stuck in my craw. Once I began getting irritated with the book, I got very nit-picky, I admit it, and then the little things began to grate on my nerves, too. For instance, within a week of traveling back in time, Rourke is expertly driving a Porshe through the streets of Philadelphia. Really? In one week, he went from riding a horse to driving a performance car like a pro?
All that being said, if the author had made ONE TINY TWEAK, this book would have been far better. Instead of making it a time-travel, she should have made in an alternate universe, or alternate dimension story. THEN, some of this would have been more palatable. Unfortunately, I couldn't shut off my logic long enough to do anything but roll my eyes through this entire debacle. Also, it ended abruptly, which I shudder to think means the author wrote (or planned to write) a sequel. I wouldn't read it if you paid me to.
I'm giving this one star, simply because it's as low as I can go.
★
First of all, I freely admit that I did not read the first book in this series. The fact that it is a series makes me a sad panda. That being said, because I did not read the prequel, I presume I missed out on Very Important Information. At least, I hope that's the case. No book should be so overwhelmingly stupid on its own.
Okay, here's the premise: In the future, women are scarcer than three-dollar bills, because a plague released in our present day (I'm guessing?) has made it impossible for women to bear female children. But, the resourceful men of the future have discovered a means of going back in time to retrieve brides. Now, I'm mostly on board with this. I enjoy time-travel romances, but the book's premise is the only thing it had going for it. Our main characters were Rourke, from the Blackfell of the future, and Alexis, from present-day Philadelphia. Only the wealthiest men can afford to retrieve brides, but Rourke is fighting the system. Families for All! Alexis is a paranormal investigator, which means she's a bit more open-minded than your average present-day bear. Rourke travels back in time to meet up with Alexis, in hopes that she can shed some light on her sister's research (this is what I missed from the first book) in order to prevent the plague from happening in the first place. And, it fell to hell from the get-go.
How did I loathe this book? Let me count the ways:
1. I have no idea how far in the future Blackfell is, because at various times, Rourke said either "eons" or "hundreds of years". I'm no mathematician, but even I know there's a vast difference between eons and centuries.
2. Not only are there no women in the future, but there is apparently no technology, either. WTF?! The women die out, and the men regress to horse-and-buggy days?! Supposing that all of earth's fossil fuels were used up, I am reasonably certain that somebody, somewhere, could have figured out a way to...oh, I don't know...harness solar, wind, hydro or nuclear energy to power things, but...no.
3. Rourke claims that the brides who are retrieved from the past are done so with their fully informed consent. I can only speak for myself here, but if some dweeb approached me, claimed to be from the future, and asked if I wouldn't enjoy traveling forward in time, where there is no technology and where I would be nothing but a glorified broodmare, I'm thinking my answer would be, "Get the fuck away from me, you creepy weirdo."
4. One would think that if women were exceedingly rare, that they would be treated like precious, priceless jewels to be coddled and cosseted, fussed over and revered. NO! The impression I got from reading was that many of these brides are beaten, abused, then cast aside when no longer able to bear sons (because, remember, they can't have daughters...even when retrieved from the past BEFORE THE PLAGUE). Some are even murdered. Hey, where do I sign up for this experience?!
5. One would also think homosexuality would be rampant in the women-less future, but the author shied away from even breathing a muted whisper about it. I call bullshit!
6. But wait, if the mens are in need of some lovin', they can wait a year to visit a "comfort woman". You know, one of those poor, cast-aside women, whose "husband" paid an astronomical sum of money for her. Because, yanno, she wouldn't still be pampered and revered, even in her dotage. Maybe it's just me, but I would think a woman, any woman, would be like the ultimate status-symbol in Blackfell. *shrugs*
7. Here's where my overthinking things comes into play: Not only am I not a mathematician, I'm not a biologist, either. But, I do know that the gender of a baby is determined by the father, not the mother. So...a plague that renders women unable to bear female children would seem to me to be a plague that affects men, not women, right? As in, the plague has rendered MEN unable to sire daughters. It's not that women's bodies are rejecting female fetuses; they're not getting pregnant with female babies. Honestly, Ms Forbes! I learned this shit in Biology 101.
8. Speaking of the plague, how is it that the plague managed to affect EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD?! It's not as if we're all infected with HIV, nor did we all contract Ebola. I call bullshit on that, too.
9. Still on the overthinking things...if Rourke goes back in time and prevents the plague from ever happening, HE WILL NEVER BE BORN. No, don't argue with me about this. Each person is the product of one particular egg cell and one particular sperm cell. If the plague never happens, and people go on with their lives, meeting and mating, etc, there is no way that, eons or centuries later, Rourke will be born. Ain't happenin'.
10. Late in the book, Rourke and Alexis manage a meeting with the hapless scientist who is destined to release the plague (and later commit suicide, but I digress). They muck things up, and apparently release a different version of the same plague, because the next person to visit from the future is a woman. Ah, yes. Now, in the future, the men are scarcer than three-dollar bills, and women rule, but yet many of the characters are still the same, just...they're women. Please see Point 9.
Those are the main things that stuck in my craw. Once I began getting irritated with the book, I got very nit-picky, I admit it, and then the little things began to grate on my nerves, too. For instance, within a week of traveling back in time, Rourke is expertly driving a Porshe through the streets of Philadelphia. Really? In one week, he went from riding a horse to driving a performance car like a pro?
All that being said, if the author had made ONE TINY TWEAK, this book would have been far better. Instead of making it a time-travel, she should have made in an alternate universe, or alternate dimension story. THEN, some of this would have been more palatable. Unfortunately, I couldn't shut off my logic long enough to do anything but roll my eyes through this entire debacle. Also, it ended abruptly, which I shudder to think means the author wrote (or planned to write) a sequel. I wouldn't read it if you paid me to.
I'm giving this one star, simply because it's as low as I can go.
★
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no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 04:43 pm (UTC)I keep seeing this in spec fic, though - this idea that there are very few women, but instead of being revered, as I think they would be in a real-life scenario, they become chattel in these societies instead. It's maddening! The world-building of it makes no sense!
On the flip side, there's Wen Spencer's A Brother's Price, which does this really interestingly, although it's men that are super rare, not women. It's believably and neatly done, and a very entertaining little read :)
no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 11:19 pm (UTC)The author's story telling was fine, but I just couldn't get past the overall ridiculousness.
no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-04-28 11:19 pm (UTC)