Book 11, 2022

[chez_jae]

A Quick Bite by Lynsay Sands

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



I brought my book from the office home to finish, and I just now completed it. The book was A Quick Bite by Lynsay Sands, and it's the first in her "Argeneau" series of vampire chick-lit. The main characters are Lissiana Argeneau, a 200-year old vampire, and Dr Greg Hewitt, a psychologist specializing in treating phobias.

Lissiana has an unusual phobia for a vampire: she faints at the sight of blood. However, her mother, Marguerite, has the solution. She kidnaps Dr Hewitt to have him treat Lissiana. When her mother mentions a special birthday gift for her and Lissiana finds Greg tied to her bed, she believes her mother has provided him for a treat. It's not until after Lissiana bites Greg and engages in some heavy kissing and frotting that she learns he was meant to cure her phobia. Lissiana feels terrible about the way Greg was treated, and she helps him escape from the family home. Fearful now that the vampire council may wish to exterminate Greg since he knows that vampires exist, Lissiana and Greg go on the run, leading them into more danger.

For the most part, this was fun and sexy and cute, with an added dollop or two of drama and danger, but I couldn't help finding the entire scenario absurd and annoying.

- A vampire who can't stand the sight of blood should be a clever, comical plot device, but I just thought it was stupid.
- If you kidnapped the good doctor to treat your daughter's phobia, why on earth would you tie him to her bed?! Why not lock him in a room until he agreed to treat her?
- Many of Lissiana's family were gathered at the family home for her birthday. Was she just turning 200? No, I believe it was 202. Um, at what point in our long lives do we quit having over the top celebrations for each birthday?
- While on the subject of vampires who are hundreds of years old, I'd like an explanation of why Lissiana and her cousins all acted like they were slightly daft 20-somethings. Maddening.
- Do vampires have any sense of personal boundaries? I lost count of the times that all of Lissiana's cousins trooped, uninvited, into her bedroom when she was trying to enjoy her time with Greg. Does nobody knock and wait for permission to enter?
- I was a bit taken aback by the fact that Lissiana and all of her female cousins wore baby dolls for their "sleepover". Really? No one wore a T-shirt and shorts or a nightgown? Only Thomas wore appropriate sleepover pjs--a pair of Spider Man pajamas.
- I was more than a bit taken aback when all of them trooped through Lissiana's bedroom in their baby dolls, including the twins, who were actually 17-years old. Sorry, but the thought of 17-year olds parading around in front of a grown man dressed like that was squicky.
- As with another vampire series I'm familiar with, we have a mother (700-year old Marguerite) treating her centuries-old daughter as if she's a tween. Also maddening.
- I was wondering, if the sight of blood made Lissiana faint, why did she simply not close her eyes, grab a bag of blood, and pop it to her teeth? Not long after I had that thought, so did the author. She had Lissiana's cousin, Thomas, tell her to close her eyes while he put a bag of blood to her teeth. DUH!
- We learn later that Marguerite sorta/kinda knew Greg was The One for Lissiana, which is why she threw them together. Since when is sending your daughter fleeing from the house in terror considered "match-making"? Marguerite's scheming nearly got both Lissiana and Greg killed.

Favorite line: It was hard to be scared of people you've seen in their pajamas.

Overall, a disappointing read from this author. Two stars.