Book 3, 2021

Sticks and Standing Stones Can Break My Bones by Nhys Glover

My rating: 3 of 5 stars



Last night, I finished reading Sticks and Standing Stones Can Break My Bones by Nhys Glover. It's the first part in the "Alfie Wimple" trilogy, featuring repressed and penniless Alfreda "Alfie" Wimple.

After her father passes, Alfie inherits the grand manor home that's been in her family for generations. Unfortunately, she cannot afford the estate tax, and she's on the verge of losing the house. She can't bear to sell it, either, especially considering that her Aunt Daphne, who haunts the house, is unable to leave it. Alfie takes solace in her painting and her pets, all of them strays she took in.

She can scarcely believe it when a handsome Uni professor on sabbatical comes to her home to see the standing stone at the bottom of the garden. Soon, Alfie learns that the stone guards an entrance to the Underworld, and that she may be the only person capable of ensuring the entrance remains sealed. Alfie's life suddenly goes from bland and boring to more exciting than she needs when bad boy Jake insists she help him rid himself of the ghost that is tormenting him, Daphne begins to recall more of her life and her own role in keeping the entrance sealed, and someone seems determined to scare Alfie out of her home. A visitation in a dream may hold the key, but Alfie will need all the help she can get to fulfill her role as a guardian.

Characters were done well, from Alfie herself to her ghostly Aunt Daphne. The plot buzzed along at a frantic pace, but there was no resolution; it ended on a cliffhanger. The story started out light and cute and funny, and I was thoroughly enjoying it. However, I had become a bit disenchanted by the end. For one thing, the author portrayed Alfie as plump and plain. That's fine, it's great even. I'd like to see more female leads who aren't all va-va-voom. But, when she turned from Plain Alfie to Mary Sue, my eyebrows all but disappeared into my hairline. Of course, she is attractive in her own fashion, but I think a slow-build would be more believable than two guys vying for her within just a few days of any of them meeting each other. Finally, what really chapped my ass was this: the story was billed as a "funny romantic paranormal mystery". There is nothing funny about ( Spoiler )

I was Not Happy about that, and I'm not sure I'd read another book in this trilogy.

Favorite lines:
♦ So a normal human could see a rainbow but a colour-blind person couldn't. If colour-blind people had been in the majority they might say we were seeing things, or we're crazy, when we claimed to see rainbows.
Probably the best explanation I've ever heard (or read) of how some people can see ghosts but the majority can't.
♦ What was there about someone slipping on a banana peel, or in this case a ferret, that made people laugh?
♦ "Magical wards like in Harry Potter?"

Started out great but fizzled out. This was on track for a five-star rating, but in the end it gets a three.